52 .Hello, goodbye.

Christmas eve. Afternoon in my House at the Lake. Charles Aznavour from the speakers. The lake grey and a bit messy as if it it already fights the cold that according to the Meteo soon will freeze it.
It is wednesday now and I arrived from Beijing last Saturday after a 10 day visit to China. Sweet company to the Beijijng airport and sweet welcome at my arrival. Anne waited for me with a copy of my novel ONLAND. I took it in my hand and it smelled good. Worked 4 plus years on it and now it is there, and I felt like an outsider, like a parent saying hello to a grown up child. The book is no longer mine. Good. Interesting, Vulnerable position.

Of course I visited SchoutenChina. It has deleveloped well. And I had a small holiday in Sanya.
The Mangrove Tree Ressort in Yalong Bay. Riviera without nasty frills.
Christmas on every corner. Huge Reindiers and Christmas trees. Christmas roses and the Christmas Carols from the loudspeakers. They had a 2 hour tape of them and while sipping my capucino's I took the opportunity to practise them all: Last Christmas (Wham), Rudolph the
Red Nosed Reindeer, Driving home for Christmas, Thank God it is Christmas, Jingle Bells. Wasntit boring? No. No problem. Mei wenti. It was funny to practice them in 28 degrees.

Now in Holland, this very moment, Charles Aznavour is luring me into a melancholic mood and though I am strong (no other option) I experience that warm oily feeling of missing something, of a fruitless craving. Time to stand up and make my New Year Resolutions: if you do not move your self you always will be moved. If parting is dying a little it is better to say good bye yourself and leave. Nevertheless I miss "China". I will go back.