Wednesday 4 July 2007

21 Perls and Boris and the Acrobat

The weather is gloomy, I have no other word.
Even the slightly rippled but otherwise calm surface of the Lake cannot seduce me to use an other expression. Grey, tiresome.
Thinking about the state I found myself in most partss of this day I hit upon Frits Perls. He is a may be longforgotten subtop Psychotherapist, long gone, who invented Gestalttherapy.
This branch of therapy, still not mainstream, has a simple theoretical fundament, I will summarize below.
But first I will reveal that while thinking of Frits or Fritz, I dont know, I immediately visualized Boris, the mate who joined me half a year after I founded my Institute- and left 5 years later to start his own practice.
I remember Boris sitting, the way only he could sit, Boeddhalike but
despite his slightly bulging forefront he always kept a very straight back. On the left of his
chair a broken packet of sigarets, on his right side an ashtree and one or two other packs, not yet broken. In his right hand a sigaret and in his very big left fist his lighter, ready to fire.
An excellent trainer, organization developer and therapist just like Fritz. But it was the picture
of Boris sitting in his chair that connected Fritz to him, because in all descriptions of the chainsmoking Perls he also sat there, the same way Boris did his work.
I thought of Perls because one of his maxims that popped up today. It goes this way( I do
it by heart):

I do my thing
You do yours
If we meet each other, it is wonderfull
If not: nothing can be helped.

Such is la condition humain.
The simple lines helped me somehow today. 10 days ago I came back from Beijing. It was
ok, but it took me 8 days to fully land in Holland, until today. I played my role in various
committees and decisionmaking ambiances, according to my environment in an effective way.
But effectiveness and efficiency are different species. I mean, while being effective I lost a
lot of energy to things lost. I had some attacks from the Acrobat, entering my brain with
develish sweetness and it took me many hours and mails etc to scratch her out of the lobes
inside my skull.
Gestalttherapy has a simple paradigm: when you describe a situation, any situation!, you
always express the feelings and pains and trauma's that fill your brain, through indirect means.
So when I described the weather as gloomy grey and tiresome and Fritz would hear me
doing so, he would immediately order me to redescribe and use the word "I" in stead of "the
weather is..."
'Yes, mr Perls: I feel gloomy, tiresome and grey.'
I assure you, I witnessed very heartbreaking and effective therapysessions along this line
of practice, very often followed by relief and catharsis for the person who was in the
centre of the (psychodrama-)session.
Why I am gloomy etc? One reason is the Acrobat lost. But there can be also an other factor
in play. I smoked far and far to much last 20 days. And that does not become me.
But I wonder: why?
I come to Perls again. It is an established fact that this long deceased therapist even at the
age of 80 always was surrounded by the most beautiful female clients. What feelings did
they trigger in in his old but always male heart? And did he maybe smoke to extinguish those
feelings? To put him self in the gloomy desensitized grey state I experienced to day. A state
that resembles a slab of concrete on top of of a pit full of boiling emotions?

All these thoughts brought me after work to write a letter to R. I dont know this good person verywell but she asked me "How about you?" and I expressed how I felt.
And before I entered the House at the Lake I had my bowl of natural salad at Heineke. And in my way home I visited Bobbian and Joyce and had a real sweet talk about how I felt.
"Dont think too much, let things overcome you, dont resist."
"Yes, Joyce."
So I will do give room to chance. Look my feelings right into their face. Stop smoking (again).
I dont like the word ' thing ' in Fritz Perls maxim. "I do my thing." What does "thing"
mean?
But while scolding at this word ("ding"in dutch) I must concede the fact that its time to clarify this question and specify it and apply it to my own life. And I tell you, the first fundamentals (and thats whats all about) are passing not only my frontal lobe but also are filled with the passions mediated by other parts of my brain.
"What do I want to do?'
Is that the right question?
No.
Better is: "to what or whom I am devoting my passion and energy."
Small but significant difference.
But maybe I am already thinking too much.

PS the story Li Xiao the flute player is going to be translated in Chinese and soon will be added
to this Blog

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