8.monday april 30 2007

So I am having a holiday. When its holiday in China and especially at the Chinese New Year millions and millions of Chinese men and women leave the cities to go back to the village they came from. When free for a couple of days I normally go to our house in Spain, together with Anne or enjoy the beautiful garden behind our house in Zaltbommel. And go sailing or to the pub with the friends or playing some tennis. But what is a holiday? Personally I regard this as working in different and mostly somewhat more agreeable circumstances. I always work. I love it. I will continue to do so.
But this year I made the choice of a different kind of work during these socalled free days, so kindly granted to me by my co- workers: the trip to Argentine. In the same way like the Chinese citydwellers reroot in their villages I rerooted in the House on the Lake. Diving into the pit of my soul, so easily concealed below my work as a leader of a company.
Some friends tell me it is dangerous to write my experiences down. They care for me. But there is nothing to worry about. Being a topdog in action always involves the collateral damage of neglecting your self. Only those with some imagination or with executive management experience can understand.
So.
Happiness never is the most relevant objective. I reenergized my powercentre tháts important, so I smilingly can say in mine and your face: happiness is not the issue, its a desirable but always temporarily state. In the same way I refocussed the fair balance between the interests of myself and those of my friends.
How did I do that the last weeks? If you look at the name of our Chinese Company and if you are able to read Chinese, you easily will detect the meaning of the characters. You pronounce them somewhat like Sjoe- tán and if you read the characters you will detect that Sjoe stands for "thinking" and tán for "jumping". It took a lot of research to find the characters and more than 10 hours of demaning ánd interesting ánd funny meetings.
Ok: first you think and analyse and then you bring thougths into life: by action.
Happiness, as I re-discovered earlier is not in the brain and slowly at first and after the first succeful gradually faster, I experience those sensation-in-the-here- and-now that like pearls on a string represent the real true meaning of happiness.
Some examples. Last saturday it happened for the third time that I left a shop without paying.
Not intentionnaly. But I did. I bought a small scissors, a packet of Nicotinell(anti-smoking), some anti-rash-ointment. I felt good. First of all: I did buy them myself, moreover: I decided myself to buy them! And after I gathered those valuable articles I proudly left the shop. Good job, Jan!
Within seconds however someone started to shout from the opening of the door.
"Sir, Sir!"
I turned around. The owner. A smoothly shaved man in a white coat, who lowered his voice at once when we stood eye to eye.
I smiled. He also smiled.
"Sir,' he said,' please: pay. You forgot to pay!"
I did and thats also interesting: before Argentine I usually never had any money or plastic on me. Now I have/ Loosely crammed in the right( or was it left?) trouser pocket.
I explained to him: "thanks for your kindness. A mistake. Sorry. But in normal life there is always somebody else who carries my money and who pays for me."
The man kept smiling but I saw from the expression of his face he regarded me as a oversized man from Mars. And there was a highly botoxed lady behind me in the queu who kindly nodded at me. Invitingly. But I went out.
I realise that by telling this story for some of my readers I maybe place myself in a dangerous position because my reputation might be at stake. But I tell you, I could only laugh at myself.
But the chemist was not the only shop I visited. In a-two-day-schedule I also started to gather my food, an action(tan) always planned well (shoe) .
So I visit the very local supermarket near my House on the Lake. Staggering around along the shelves, getting lost like a blind man, asking those nice pretty shopkeepers "where are the vegetables" and do that again and everytime again until last saturday one of them greeting me as an old friend took the initiative of showing the vegetables to me before I could even ask her.
So I bought the israeli and dutch tomatoes, the garlic I since China learned to eat raw, the mushrooms, sweet and red peppers, the different kinds of salad. Thats my diet. Along with warm water, and the notoirous little foodsacks from Tilly the Highpriest of Weightcontrol.
But whats more new and interesting: I prepared and prepare the food myself. I tell you thats historical! Thats fun. And I perform nicely, with Skyradio in the background, the long avoided rital of washing up. A clean kitchen, for heavens sake: thats a beautiful sight. Especially when you clean up yourself.
While I say this I must admit I just said "yes"to Anne who smilingly offered to prepare some spinach for me.

And I sailed a lot.
And today I finished the last draft of my novel. Also work.